I have recently posted on Facebook (www.facebook.com) : Describe me in one word, and be honest, Thanks.

I have had words like : WOnderful (nice!) , Beloved (didnt really get it), Cute and short.

but I realised I haven't really had any pertaining to my inner characteristics, character or personality wise that is straight to the point. This, I admit, can be rather saddening. I mean, I expected perhaps 10 replies? or perhaps everyone is just too busy. But this also brings a very important point into focus. Have I not really made really true friends?

I have to come clean on one point, I'm really cautious when it comes to friends. sometimes I would rather build a wall then to let anyone know my exact thoughts. Truth is I haven't had trustworthy friends from my growing years and over time, perhaps it has grown into a defensive mechanism and a wall I build around myself to shield myself from others. At times I'm so tempted to share my feelings and thoughts with a friend but almost invariably, I will force myself to swallow it down and solve my own problems, not realizing over time it has isolated me on an island and the horrifying truth is, I'm lonely. Been too busy working, been too busy dating perhaps, been too concentrated on my own personal successes that I forgot to care for my friends as well, thinking once in awhile, meeting the person up will suffice. Truth is, I've lost many  and the title of Miss popularity is seriously a misnomer.

It's in my fervent hope that in my last proper summer break as a undergraduate before my final year starts, I start my journey of reconnections, reconciliations and finding those that really matter.

Have been sick for awhile now. Awful bad flu this time round, the fever took rather long to subside. whilst being sick, I felt really bored. Had a busy week before finally falling sick. somehow the holidays feel really draggy.

sighs. much have changed over the past year, in terms of friends, people, relationships. Friends who stayed stayed, friends who go have gone. relationships that soured and gone, nothing much is left. not even much of the memories. it's really hard to recall whatever. Feels too distant already. Which might really, just turn out to be a good thing.

Havent had much motivation recently to do anything at all. guilty of missing too many castings, and even lost the motivation to rebrand myself. got to force myself!!! jiayou, myself:)

exhausted.

thankful that exams are coming to an end but another nightmare awaits me: WORK. which equates to more mods to sit for, etc. If I were to do a list of all the things I have to finish up, I should think it will stretch over  a hundred items. all that's in my mind is to sleep, sleep, sleep and get enough sleep. Never figured sleep was a luxury till I started work part time. For now its back to all the psychology theories which unfortunately keeps no one sane.

am in the midst of my exams and still surviving. :) it's a slow marathon till 26th till the agony ends. I love the mods i'm taking but examinations are just a killer.

Imagine answering:

"section 21 of the Companies act 2006 requires that an alteration of the articles of association must be by special resolution. However, the courts have introduced equitable considerations and the requirement that the alteration must be bona fide and for the benefit of the company as a whole". Critically discuss.

not in the least bit effortless. haha.

well another 20 days to go before I get back to civilization. Hang in there everyone.

Looks like I still can't get used to blogging all over again.

oh wells, on a insomniac night trying to study, sometimes the mind just wanders off a little.

It's interesting how people used to use certain names/pet names/etc of a person once so important to them in their passwords, email addresses etc. When love fades or the relationship ends, perhaps it was painful to type it out repeatedly to log in or just painful to think about it when the memories are still fresh. Over the passage of time somehow it becomes more of a habit, more of for convenience sake. In retrospect, It's just faintly amusing and introspective that once upon a time, you thought it was going to be forever.

But I realised, even Forever had a deadline.

elements of social and applied psychology
POA
Marketing
The Law of Business Organisations

someone tell me how to finish knowing them all as your best friend. grrrrrrr.

I've had too many regrets in life and too many mistakes. Muddling along all the time, it's tough to make yourself wake up but it's timely I did. To someone who used to be part of my life for 3 years, I'm sorry. Many things I should have said or done, it's too late to do anything but I thank you for all the advice that I used to not heed. Perhaps for the rest of our lives we'll never be able to even be friends beyond the Hi bye level. but I guess life is so unpredictable, move on and maybe, there's still a chance for us to patch the friendship.

It's useless to say, if only I could turn back time. More probable to say, I know and I wouldn't do it the same way no more.

In construction!